Trials...

Today I was thinking about trials. Some trials are super hard, and you have no choice but to go through them. Like the death of a loved one, or financial burdens... but the more I thought about it I realized some trials we choose to go through. Like college, or having babies(they don't call it labor for nothing!), or getting married, or raising your children. On that note I wanted to share what the Bible says about trials... James 1:2-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

or check out the Message paraphrase... always love that version

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

God has not given me trials that are tragedies. 

My family is whole, my child is healthy, and my life is good. 

God has given me responsibility that I choose to take very seriously.

Raising Tori in a godly way and training her in righteousness.

This responsibility has taught me the true meaning of pure joy in trials.

It is not always easy to raise my child the way that God wants me to

It is definately not easy to discipline her the way God wants me to

It is not easy to be concerned with her heart, instead of her behavior.

This is my trial! This is my struggle.... and seriously, WHAT A JOY!

Somedays I am not positive about this, somedays I'm a mess and I think I've totally ruined my child and I'm a terrible mother. But, I can honestly say that being Tori's Mommy is worth it. Seeing her precious face each day is worth it. Knowing that she is mine, makes me joyful and thankful to the God who gave her to me. I think this is a perfect example of joy in trials. God knows children are difficult. I am not saying that Tori is horrible or that she is a trial in my life that I am just trying to get through. NO!! She is a gift, a precious gift! And this gift God has given to me is a HUGE responsibility. I am responsible for a human life!! I see this as a challenge, because IT'S HARD!! Anyone that tells you otherwise is lying! So, to wrap this up, the challenge of motherhood is pure joy. I pray that I can apply this to other trials in my life, because they are there and it can be so hard to find joy in the midst of suffering.

Being Tori's mommy has taught me so much. Patience, perseverance, unconditional love, joy, confidence, and so much more. God gave me this precious gift to show me His love for me. I am doing my best to be the best mother I can be, and considering each new challenge PURE JOY!! This verse also encourages me to stick with it, because through our trials, our faith grows. God has already used Tori's life to bring me back into His will. Knowing that all of my struggles have a purpose inside of God's will, gives me hope. He's not finished with me yet! If I have to suffer to be mature and complete, so be it. My goal is for my life to please the Lord, so that one day when I stand in front of Him at Heaven's gates He will say to me
"Well done, my good and faithful servant."

How fragile life is...

A friend of mine miscarried at 20 weeks yesterday. She had to be induced to deliver a precious baby boy, who was already in heaven. I cannot even imagine the pain, the heartache, and the absolute horror of such an experience. They have both handled this with such grace and courage and I am in awe of God's presence, and the impact that this sweet little boy has had on so many close to this family. The verse that she posted on her facebook was

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The

 Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Phil 4:4-7

How can anyone have such a joy in Jesus in such a time of sadness... What an example to us on how to go through trials... Rejoice in the Lord always... Life is so fragile, and every life is worth celebrating... Pray for this family as they work through the tragedy of losing a child.

My Dorky Confession

Confession: 

I LOVE CRAYONS AND COLORING!!! I have always had crayons and coloring books. 

My favorite coloring books are Disney Princesses, Lisa Frank, Precious Moments, and the most recent... Strawberry Shortcake(Thanks to my cute little girl) A sharp brand new crayon excites me... I had the 120 count pack of crayons... In College... Seriously, I am not kidding at all! I even colored Adam a picture in High School of Sleeping Beauty dancing with Prince Phillip and wrote him a dorky note about how he was my Prince... I'm a dork and I'm proud of it!!!

Now that you know my embarrassing secret let me tell you what I have done with all of those crayons I collected over the years. I did a major clean out and put all the crayons that were still worth coloring with and put them in Tori's art box... With the huge pile leftover, we recycled our old crayons!!  Tori and I had a blast taking the paper off and breaking them into tiny pieces. We put them in a mini muffin pan and melted them in the oven and turned them into, as Tori calls them, Muffin Crayons!

Here's some pictures of our fun day!

The "fun" colors

The "Normal" colors

Aren't they awesome??

It was so much fun!!

Best Friends...

Tori loves her friends. This past year I have had the joy of watching her and her very first best friend. Taylor and Tori are double trouble. They play together, and search one another out in a group setting. Sometimes they fight like sisters, but for the most part they really love each other. They dance, laugh, and play and really hate when they have to say goodbye. Tori includes Taylor and her family in her prayers each night, and she asks me often when her "Savorite sriend" is coming to play again. Good thing her Mommy and I get along so well haha. It is such a blessing that Tori gets to experience a friendship like this so early in her life. I pray that this friendship will be one she keeps! They will love to look at their baby pictures together one day! haha. 

2009 was a hard year for me. I felt very alone and I missed the people who I used to have close relationships with, but had lost touch as our lives went different ways. I prayed for a friend often. God answered my prayers with Emily. This is Taylor's Mommy, and I have an equally special relationship with her. She is such a sweet, godly woman who just gets me. She is one of those people who is just irreplaceable and I know I can trust her with every part of who I am. I am so thankful to God for putting these precious girls in our lives.  

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, 

blesses you with love, and encourages you with hope."

I have realized...

Throughout these 2 years that I have been blogging I have realized that I love to write, but I prefer to write more serious, thoughtful things than "Hey guess what we did today!" It's funny because the pictures and what we did today is alot easier, but I feel that if people are going to read my blog, they want to read something worth reading. I also have realized that I second-guess every post I write. I have seriously at least 20 posts started, but never finished, or didn't make the cut once I was ready to post it. I laugh at myself for being so silly... Honestly I don't even know who is reading this anyways, so why do I care?? Lol, that being said, I am going to try my hardest to post a blog more often with content that will, hopefully, be worth your while!  :)

Happy Birthday Big Girl!!

Tori,

Where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday I was holding a tiny newborn in my arms. You have grown from a tiny, helpless, adorable newborn baby, to an independant, spirited, and beautiful 3 year old. You are such a joy to me. Though you are often a challenge, I still love every minute I spend with you. A year ago I would have written all the new words you were saying, or all the milestones you had hit, but this year I have watched your little personality begin to form. This past year has been a year of discovery and wonder as you find out who you are, and how things work.  You have stopped asking "what" questions and started asking "why."

You are an encourager. You tell the people around you what is good about them. You say "good job" and you say things in a way that builds others up.

You have such an amazing imagination. You play make-believe, and dress-up more than anything else.

You love to dance and sing, but you are a little shy to perform for anyone but Mommy and Daddy.

You have finally started to pose for the camera, but only when you want to.

You make conscious decisions between right and wrong, and accept the consequences of your actions.

You are learning to ride your tricycle

You can officially draw a smiley face

You hate it when Mommy or Daddy is sad, and always know how to make us smile

You love your animals: Mya, Sam, and Bella

Your favorite bedtime song is "All the Pretty Little Horses" AKA Hush-a-bye-bye

You love to read books with Mommy

You are almost fully potty trained (minus nighttime which will come with time)

You have pretty good rhythm for a 3 year old, and you love to dance!!

You're cute and you know it!! "I'm a cutie"

We love you big girl!! Happy Birthday!!